Padaanwysings of GP?

Ek het dit al gese en ek kan dit seker nog honderd keer se, die verkeer in Dubai is iets ysliks. Kyk die nuutste tegnologie word gebruik en al wat leef en beef gebruik deesdae 'n GPS om van punt A na punt B te kom. Miskien is dit die bietjie kaartwerk, soek vir bakens en instink wat ek by die Voortrekkers geleer het, wat maak dat ek nog sonder die GPSie kan klaarkom. En dit beteken nie dat ek nie somtyds verdwaal nie, dit gebeur... Ek is seker daai masjientjie kan nie eers byhou met die ontwikkeling nie.

Ek kom anderdag op hierdie aanwysings af wat ons eenkeer vir ons skool se personeel golfdag gekry het. Met die lees besef ek net dat die huidige probleem nog dieselde ou probleem is - lees bietjie hoe was ons GPS-aanwysings na die Dubai Creek golfbaan 'n klompie jare terug. Daar was twee opsies. Vir die ouens wat Dubai ken, seker julle sal verstaan en die ander wat nog nooit hier was nie, probeer julle die prentjie indink.

I'm assuming that you know how to get onto Maktoum, if not, a quick refresher. Up Sh. Zayed road, go under the Trade Centre Roundabout and stay in the left hand lanes. You'll then go whizzing through an underpass and be faced with a dire decision. Go left and you end up in the guts of Karama. This would not be good even in peace time. Go right and you'll live to see Maktoum bridge hurtling towards you. Staying in the left hand lanes you'll start your ascent of Maktoum Bridge. Now the fun starts.

You're on the bridge and suddenly the two lanes you are in will be met by another two and another two shortly after. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to get yourself and your car (preferably at the same time) to cut across the joining four lanes. Your end goal is to be in the extreme right hand lane by the time you have reached the end of the hump on the other side. It sounds nerve racking and if my vocabulary was beyond 400 words I would be able to portray the scene in the true horror that it is. But as I am still at a stage wherfe I start sentences with "but" I will just say that during the 20 seconds that it takes you to cut the lanes over the bridge, you're brain will be screaming. "Suuuuuuuuuggggggggggaaaaarrrrr". If this is the case you are on track. If not then you will end up in Deira. Not good.

So, you're in the right hand lane and you'll see a slip road taking you away from Maktoum Bridge and the ten car pile up you have created. Take this slip road with caution for undoubtedly there will be taxi round the bend who has rear ended a Smart car. Not sure why this always happens but if you own a Smart car i strongly recommend Garhoud Bridge.

Coming off the slip road you will join the main road leading up to the Cross Road. Do not get distracted by this. Stay on target. The turning for the Creek Golf Club is right. Before the lights you'll see a right hand turning - take this.

You're so close but watch out it's a dead end. Take a left and head down the long drive way. Do not U turn unless you want to go shopping at the City Centre.

The drive way. Can't go wrong here. Careful over the speed bump. Friendly guard will usher you in. First roundabout - just go straight. Lovely. Second roundabout - similar to the first one but rounder - go straight. Final roundabout. Two choices. Take the right before the club house and there's a single lane car park. Take the next left and there's plenty more parking at the foot of the Golf Club's Sail building.

Via Garhoud

A quick refresher on how to get to Garhoud. Up Sh Zayed road, go under the Trade Centre roundabout and stay in the right hand lanes. When you come out of the underpass under the Trade Centre you will be greeted with three lanes of traffic trying to cut across to the left. Some of them will be decoys in that they will indicate left but not actually change lanes. Do not be deceived, treat every car as a potential victim of spontaneous stipidity and carefully maneuver to the right. If you get into the fourth lane from the median then you're doing great, too far to the right and you'll end up on slip roads that are designed to take you shopping. To your left you'll see motorists disappear into an underpass. If this is you then quickly grab the Creek Golf Club via Maktoum bridge now. If you are now approaching a small underpass and someone behiind you is flashing his lights inches from your bumper then all is well. You'll come out of this underpass and notice the Wafi shopping mall over to your left. Keep straight and do not be distracted by the sale now on. Staying straight will lead you to the certain traffic jam that is known as Garhoud Bridge.

Once on the bridge you're best bet is the middle lane as statistics have shown that people in the middle lane have a 15A% chance of staying alive. Over the bridge cars will be bearing off to the right, keep straight. You'll follow a bend and at this point you want to get into the right hand lane. Coming out of the bend you'll teeam up with a merging lane on your right. Slot in behind these cars and stay straight. You've got this one chance to get into the underpass, miss it and you'll end up in Sharjah and to date no maps exist of Sharjah or the genetic make up of its inhabitans.

Ha! You're going through the underpass. Marvelous. Get into the left hand lane as you approach the exit of the underpass. Drivers in the right will be going to Deira City Centre and not even a 10 ton truck will stop them their course.

Coming off the slip road you will join the main road leading up to the crossroad. You need to get over to the left hand lane sharpish. You've got traffic from Sharjah screaming down from a flyover. Lose the plot at this stage and it's all over. Stay on target. As you approach the lights you need to stay over to the left, as you're be making a left turn when the lights go green. If you go straight then you'll end up in Deira. Not good.

Alright, the lights go green you go left and you go down a small stretch of road before you make another left, you'll now see the "Welcome to the Creek Golf and Yacht Club" sign. Relax and follow the road.

Goeie ou dae of is dit nog dieselfde? Werk die GPS regtig beter as hierdie aanwysings?